Whats the matter? people ask. Nothing, we reply. So we remain quiet in our suffering, perhaps confused about what is going on inside, and unable to reach the depth of the feeling. If left unattended, the matter can lead to psychological, physical, and relational illness. It has been proven for some time that our state of mind can affect the body's ability to resist illness and to heal.

Norman Cousins story provides a classic example of how dealing with emotions, attitude, and mental health can improve physical health. Editor of The Saturday Review,he wrote about how he fended off a life threatening disease and a massive coronary using unconventional nutritional and emotional therapies. The mental/emotional house needs cleaning just as homes and cars do. Seeing the results of years of negative beliefs and behavior, physicians realize that happy people seldom become sick.

John Bradshaw, a well-known counselor and public speaker from Houston, openly shares his own moments of frustration. When he was 40 years old and on a family vacation, he found himself in a fit of rage toward his wife and children. Confused by the intensity of emotion, he felt as though he had gone into an altered state of consciousness. Later he realized that he had stifled the rage since childhood and that this event triggered the unexpressed emotions that affected his behavior, and thus his relationships and physical health.

The good news is that it does not take years and years of psychotherapy to undo the damage. Expedient methods are available to desensitize and reprocess these experiences.

While at a training on such an intervention, I decided to address the sadness and guilt I had been carrying all week in regard to a phone call I needed to make to my mother. I did not want to call and the resistance was strong. In the process a huge burning sensation showed up in my eyes and with it a memory of her saying to me, I always wanted you to have brown eyes. (I have blue-green eyes.)

Though I ignored it at the time, it occurred to me at that moment that the statement was one more validation that I did not measure up to her expectations and I felt empty and worthless. The exercise let my brain reprocess the event and draw a new conclusion about her and about me. At the end of the day, not only did I call, but also wanted to call her, and felt a lightness and effervescence that transcended my spirit. The pain in my lower back went away the next morning and life was fresh again. It reminded me that my body and my feelings speak to me regularly and are calling attention to that which needs it. I did not attend to her remark so many years ago, and it sat there quietly creating a sense of lack and not enoughness. It is so nice to have it gone and to feel good about us both.

Brain and body research indicates that the heart has a brain that communicates with the head brain. From the esophagus through the intestines there is also a gut brain. Integrating information from these systems creates a powerful potential for healing. Other dis-eases can be alleviated or eliminated by attending to the belief systems created to cope with painful circumstances. Sometimes people gain weight to avoid reliving the loss of a relationship or a sexual molestation; sometimes people react angrily to present circumstances that dont warrant rage; sometimes they feel threatened by present events that are not threatening but are perceived to be threatening. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, ADHD, fibromyalgia and other diagnoses have their origin in traumatic events that engaged the defense system to find ways to cope.

Using emotional intelligence, nurturing our souls and bodies, and laughing help. Freeing ourselves from physical, mental, and emotional toxins allows us to contribute more positively to all of our social circles. Sometimes we can make the changes ourselves. Sometimes we need the help of a professional. Change is feasible and achievable. Do you find all this difficult to swallow or even impossible? One cant believe impossible things, said Alice of Alice in Wonderland. I dare say you havent had much practice, said the Queen. Why, sometimes Ive believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.