I think some people set about making friends the wrong way. They go out of their way to impress them or tell them of the great accomplishments that they have done. While this tactic might indeed impress people, it does not generate true friendship. This article will tell you the simple secret of how to make more friends. All People are Inherently Selfish Some people might be taken aback by this comment by saying, Im not selfish!! Well, selfishness as it applies to this context is not a bad thing. Its how we are wired as human beings. We seek out things that we need in life. The people who state that they are not selfish are the ones who are living comfortably and have most of what they want in life. But lets take that same person and remove their expensive cars, their home, their loved onesin fact lets remove everything that they have and place them in a locked room with 50 other people. Then let's say that we are going to provide these 50 people with food, but only enough food for 25 of them. Will this person still think of themselves as unselfish now? Chances are that they will fight just like the other 50 people for that food in order to survive. This need-based example is what Abraham Maslows Hierarchy of Needs model is based on. Our motivation in life is selfish by designwe seek out things that are good for us; first attending to those things necessary for survival, then safety and emotional needs, and only when we satisfy most of our needs do we feel compelled to offer to others. They Dont Really Care About Your Life Okay, thats not entirely true with all people, but for the most part, and with strangers, they could care less about your life and your achievements and anything else you have done. Boasting about the great things you have done when conversing with people at a social gathering might make for interesting conversation, but it wont help you gain friends because your stories are really just not important to them. Using Peoples Selfish Behavior to Make Friends Everyone loves to talk about themselves. Why do you think the question, What do you do for a living, is such a popular one? People love to talk about their lives and one crucial need that people have is to be heard and acknowledged by other people. It is this need that you can use to create more friends. By simply focusing the conversation on their lives instead of your own, you will subconsciously create value for yourself in their minds as a potential friend because you are providing them with a valuable resource of someone who will listen and acknowledge. This skill is by far the most powerful friend-building tactic out there. Practical Verbage Use these lines to generate rapport-building talk: Thats interestingplease tell me more. What kinds of things do you do? Im not familiar with that. Can you explain that to me? What did you think about that? What kinds of things do you like? |
