Have you ever wondered why most people are not happier and even excited about their lives? Why is it not the norm for everyone to be moving consistently in the direction of their hopes and dreams concerning their relationships, career, healthand in everything that matters to them? Oftentimes, people get stuck, and do not know how to gain tractionget unstuck and move forward.

And, how about you? Is there something you really desire, yet up until now, you have failed to really go for it? Meaning, you have an outcome you want to reach, a goal you want to achieve, yet you feel little drive and energy to bring it about. Or perhaps you are incongruent. On one hand you want one thing, and on the other hand you want something else that will take you in a different direction...such as wanting to go to the gym to exercise and at the same time wanting to stay home and watch television all night. With incongruence, you have motivation and drive, yet it is like coming to a fork in the road and wanting to take both paths at the same time.

Perhaps you can remember a time you were procrastinating, putting off doing something that would advance your career, boost your income, enhance your health, or bring you closer to someone you care about. Instead of taking action that would bring you closer to what you wanted, perhaps you did something that took you away from what you wanted. Now, I believe that all human beings are inherent geniuses and capable of doing and creating whatever we desire.

If you consider the human brain and its resources, how would any human being ever get stuck, much less stay stuck? We have the inner resources to have the careers we want, to have loving and satisfying relationships, to be healthy, and to enjoy our lives. If that is the case, why are we all not taking off like rockets, so to speak?

One answer is because we use our brains in a way to process information and make a decision, to draw a conclusion in a way that gets us stuck. In the process, we are ignoring and deleting information and resources that could give us traction and move us forward. Earlier in life, we have learned to take in certain informationand stop there. That is like coming to the end of a dead end road. We are stuck, unless we do something different, like turning around and finding other roads to take.

How You Get Stuck

Getting stuck happens when we take in limited information and come to a premature conclusion on a matter. This process can aptly be described as premature closure. Meaning, we take a sampling of information and then come to a solid conclusion that then leads to shutting out further information. Premature closure is a strategy that can lead to being stuck. It is simply a strategy that was learned somewhere along the way, and more useful strategies can be learned instead.

There is no wisdom in the mental behavior called premature closure, yet it is a common behavior, is it not? I will be the first to say that I have done my fair share of drawing conclusions prematurely and getting stuck. There is a better way, a more useful way to go about processing information, responding to challenges, making decisions, and moving forward in life. And, as we are all moving on in life, the question is Am I going in the direction that I truly desire? With that in mind, consider that human beings do three things quite wellWe masterfully:

Generalize information and experiences

Distort information and experiences

Delete information and experiences

Whether these three behaviors are useful or not depend upon our purpose in using our skill to generalize, distort and delete. That being said, it is safe to say that often, when you or I generalize, distort, or delete information, it is a less than useful behavior.

Now, lets focus on the deleting behavior for a minute. Consider this: if you or I make a mistake, perhaps a serious one, and create the feeling of being stuck in that mistake, how is that useful? Or would it be more useful for me to say to myself, Clearly I made a mistake, and I see no way out of this. However, I have very limited information at this time, and now that I think about it, my mistake is simply feedback anyway. Now I have some very useful information. And if I pay attention and am patient, I will see and hear and feel additional information on this matter, information that will open my eyes and light the path ahead for me.

When you find yourself stuck in some way, the way to move forward is to open yourself up to whatever perspectives, beliefs, or information of any kind, that will give you traction and move you out of your stuck state and into effective behaviors.

A Personal Example: "Premature Closure And My Motivation To Exercise

Today I was at the health club with my wife, and I had just finished 45 minutes of working out with weights. I had pushed myself hard and was feeling physically spent and a little nauseous, and I still had at least 30 minutes of aerobics ahead to enjoy. And that was a potential problem, because at the moment I was not thinking in terms of it being an enjoyable experience! I didnt think I had anything left to give! That was the information my body and my mind was giving me and I was tempted to think that I was dealing with all the information there was to consider at the time, that being that I didnt have any more energy to expend.

Fortunately, I searched for more information. I reminded myself that I really did not know if I could do more or not, even if it really felt that I could not! The only way I would know was to press on and turn it into an experiment. And do you know what I discovered? Twenty-one minutes into my workout on the elliptical machine, I started enjoying a burst of energy, so much so that I increased the intensity level on the machine and kept enjoying myself until I had finished forty wonderful minutes of exercising.

Boy, did I feel great when I stepped off the machine to go do my stretching exercises. By not coming to any final conclusions when tempted to do so, I gave myself a great gift.

An Angry Client Who Was Stuck

Just yesterday I got an email from a client who was angry with me. She was angry because she had come to some conclusions based on the limited information she had about my communication to her. Now, instead of saying to herself, I really do not know why Alan communicated in the way he did, so I will keep an open mind and seek more information and understanding, she created stress for herself in the form of insecurity, hurt and anger.

The emotional state she created for herself then led to less than effective communication with those around her. To her credit, she became aware of what she was doing and changed her emotional state, her behaviors and communication. Then, she found life to be much easier and enjoyable as she moved forward.

How To Move Forward Now

If in the future you find yourself facing a problem that seems it has no solution, remind yourself that you are simply experiencing premature closure. And with that behavior you will create a stuck state, a time when you delete millions of bits of information, so much information that all the hard drives of all the computers in the world could not possible contain the available information.

If you experience a future problem, remind yourself that there are not only multiple solutions for that problem there are millions of solutions. And just because you are not aware of them does not mean that they do not exist! Give yourself a gift and remain open to the wonders of life, of being human, and of your innate resourcefulness.

Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?

Are you familiar with the game show, Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Its a television game show where the contestants answer trivia type questions, with the top prize of a million dollars going to the winner. One of the options for contestants, if they get stuck not knowing the answer to a question, is to use what is called a Life Line, which means they can call someone and ask for help. They can borrow someone elses brain, so to speak. Now, as the contestant gives her or his answer, the game show host always asks the contestant, Is that your final answer? to make sure the contestant is ready to come to a final conclusion. A final answer is required to play the game.

Now, unless you are on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, you might want to remain open to incoming information on an ongoing basis. So, the next time you find yourself stuck in a behavior or a less than resourceful emotional state, exercise your brain, and be patient until something useful pops up from your unconscious mind and then have fun and do some experimenting with your new information, perspectives and understandings. And why not? Who says you cannot always be moving forward?

Copyright 2006, Alan Allard, All Rights Reserved