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Main Page –› Self Help –› Positive Attitude Development
 

How to Get Rid of Frustration and Self-Pity

 
Author: Jeff Herring

I've yet to meet the person who never struggles with frustration. It comes with the territory of being human. Like many negative emotions, it's not wrong or weak to feel frustrated. What is crucial, however, is how we handle our frustration.

One of the quickest ways to change how we react to a negative emotion is to change how you see it and then what you do about it.

One unproductive way to view frustration is to think how dare something frustrate me, and then become offended by it. It's as if you're saying, "God, I don't like what life is handing me right now, and how dare you let this happen?"

The doing that comes with this viewing usually does not solve the problem. In fact, it often makes it worse. We yell, we curse, we blame, we raise our blood pressure and that of those around us. And the problem still remains unsolved.

A more productive way to view frustration is as a chance for improving our problem-solving abilities. If we are frustrated, we need to find some other tools to solve the situation. Develop as many problem-solving tools as you can, because as a wise person once said, "If the only tool you have is a hammer, then everything begins to look like a nail."

Ask yourself: "Because what I am doing is obviously not solving the problem, what else can I do, find out, or learn to do that might solve it?"

The really nice thing about self-pity is if you can't get others to feel sorry for you, you can always feel sorry for yourself. The problem is when you throw a pity party, you are the only guest. Then you have a choice: Wallow in the mess or get out.

Wallowing in self-pity is easy. Just look around at all the bad things that have happened to you; compare yourself to a few other people you believe are doing better; and there you are, deep in wallow.

When you're caught in self-pity, you lose perspective. As author Richard Bach has written, "Perspective: Use it or lose it." To powerfully shift your perspective, consider author Stephen Glenn's definition of abundance: "In terms of the world population, you have abundance if, when you get up in the morning, you have a choice of what to eat, a choice of what to wear, a job to go to (or something to do) and a way to get there."

One way out of self-pity is to use your perspective and then do something with the abundance in front of you.

A worthwhile goal in life is to live so that if your life history is ever written, it would fall into the category to imitate.

Author Bio:

Jeff Herring

Jeff is a marriage and family therapist, singles and relationship coach, mentor coach, speaker, syndicated relationship columnist and author.

Jeff has a full time private practice in Tallahassee in which he specializes in couples, teen and parent counseling. He also is a relationship coach specializing in working with couples and singles. Some of his professional activities include:

==> Internationally syndicated relationship columnist through Knight-Ridder/Tribune Media Services, with a weekly readership of over 10 million worldwide

==> Sought after speaker for organizations, associations, churches, and corporations

==>Twice weekly appearances on The Steve and Sara Show on Magic 107.1

==> Author of "Keep the Changes: 52 Tools for Successful Living" a collection of his best columns, as well as several e-books including "How to Create a Passionate and Loving Relationship.........Forever," "How to Beat the BOZOs: Dealing with difficult people without becoming one," and "Tame Your Teen: THE survival guide for parenting your teenager.

==> Founder and CEO of TheArticleGuy.com

==> Founder and CEO of SecretsofGreatRelationships.com

==> Founder and CEO of ParentingYourTeeanger.com

==> Founder and CEO of ToolsforSuccessfulLiving.com

==> President of BuildingYourIdealPractice.com

==> President of ConsciousDatingTallahassee.com

You can search for this article using: positive attitude, positive ownership attitude, positive attitude quotes
 
 
 

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