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| Author: Neen |
We have all been there - and been there, and been there.... but I heard someone say once that the only point of learning history is to learn FROM it, not to repeat it.
So why do we constantly repeat the same mistakes in relationships and dating? I have a good idea why. First of all, I don't think that most women know the mistakes they are making. They can be subconscious or unintentional, even when we do them over and over again.
So what are these mistakes? Well, I have picked out five of the top whammies, and laid them out for your eyes. So read on, and learn!
1. Believing that you "understand men"
Let me tell ya, sister - you don't. THEY DON'T understand themselves! Seriously, though, thinking that you have a guy "figured out" is a key mistake that women make, simply because if you think you know what he is thinking or what he is going to do next, then you are actually basing your actions on your OWN beliefs and conceptions (or misconceptions), and not the true nature of the situation.
2. Pretending to be something you are not in order to get him.
Ok - we have all done this. Why - oh why do we do this' Ladies - I have heard in a song recently that it is better to be hated for who we are than to be loved for who we're not. THAT is the truth. When you pretend to be something you are not, you are not only letting yourself down, but you are setting yourself up for a fall, because one of these days, the mask is going to slip and he is going to see the truth. The TRUE YOU - the one behind that facade is beautiful - but if you show him what you think he wants to see, for however long, he is only going to see the lie that "was" when he looks at you, and not appreciate you for the beauty that you truly have. Got it?
3. Thinking He Has "Potential"
Let me guess - you have met this great guy - and he has "SO MUCH POTENTIAL!" This is the first mistake that many women make when dating or entering a relationship. Picking out a guy based on what you think you can mould him into is a recipe for disaster and heartache, not success.
4. Laying on the "I feels" too quickly
I know, I know - you are giddy about him and want to run into the hills proclaiming your love...etc etc. Grab yourself by the shirtfront and smack yourself around a few times. You may be running into the hills, but he will just plain be RUNNING. Take it slow and BE COOL. The heavier you get, the more you are going to make him squirm, at least in the beginning, especially if you are doing mistake #1 as well! Remember that proverbial carrot? "BE THE CARROT!" Say it with me! "BE THE CARROT". Dangle, entice, lead, make him want to follow you...but don't slap the manacles on as soon as he puts his hands out.
5. Trying to Find Your Personal Happiness Within a Relationship
No relationship is going to make you happy or complete, especially when everything else does not. Ladies, happiness CANNOT come from another person; it has GOT TO come from inside you. Your happiness is a product of your personal satisfaction with your life, with the person you see in the mirror every day and that little voice inside your head that you have to listen to all the time. If you are not comfortable in your own skin, no one is going to be able to make that any better - except for YOU.
These are only 5 mistakes that women make. There are A LOT more. (And don't get me wrong, men screw up too, but hey, we gotta own it to fix it, right?) Christian Carter has nailed 10 of them down in his killer newsletter article "The 10 Most Dangerous Mistakes You Probably Make With Men and What to Do About It". Check out my site if you want to read the whole thing, and keep that ugly past from repeating itself any more.
Remember...BE THE CARROT! |
Author Bio:
Dating Advice and Tips for Women from Christian Carter |
| You can search for this article using: online dating, dating sites, free online dating, free dating, dating services, dating tips |
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